2. Literature and research on relationship support for young people
2.1 The availability of literature and research
In the course of this project we searched and reviewed New Zealand and overseas literature and research on relationship support for young people. We found relatively little addressing this specific subject. The available literature was grouped around the following themes:
- violence in relationships – including violence experienced by young people within their relationships, the impact of young people observing parental conflict, maltreatment of children, bullying, sexual predators
- sexual behaviour of young people – including sex education, sexual health, onset and predictors of sexual activity, teen pregnancy, sexuality
- patterns of dating and relationship-formation
- differences in relationship-formation by gender, ethnicity and sexual orientation
- the influence of the young person’s social networks on the development of their relationships – including parents, siblings, peers, youth groups
- how individual characteristics influence relationships – including communication and conflict-resolution skills, self-esteem, personality disorders, depression.
A comprehensive review of young people’s relationships as ‘precursors of healthy adult marriages’ has been undertaken in the United States by Karney et al (2007). With regard to the availability of research, they note that “the empirical literature on romantic relationships among adolescents is still in its early stages…”; it has focused “almost exclusively on the causes and consequences of sexual behaviour”; and there is a lack of data on the implementation or effectiveness of programmes and interventions (p. 5). They also observe: “…the majority of this research has collected data at only a single occasion, relied exclusively on individuals’ self-reports, and assessed only a few variables at a time. Importantly, even the strongest studies in this area have sampled almost exclusively from populations that are predominantly middle-class and white and have not followed these samples beyond the earliest years of young adulthood” (p. 71).
There is some overseas research about how adults seek relationship support. However, the relevance of the findings translates only in part to young people, since their relationships occur within the developmental life-stage of adolescence.
The literature on support for adult relationships considers issues such as relationship satisfaction and stability, the impact of significant change and stressful life events on couple relationships (for example, parenthood, illness, blending families), protective and risk factors (such as individual characteristics, relationship history, social-support networks) and the different types of support that are available. Families Commission (2008b) summarises this literature and presents the findings of a qualitative research study on whom adult New Zealanders turn to for relationship support. The study interviewed 50 adults about how, why, when and from where they accessed information and support for their couple relationship. The majority of the participants preferred ‘informal’ support, from family and friends, over ‘formal’ support from professionals such as counsellors or psychologists. A significant number of participants also accessed ‘semi-formal’ support from their GP, school teachers or their church or community elders. Many participants had little or no awareness of the options available for formal support.
2.2 New Zealand literature and research
Two large surveys of young people have recently been undertaken in New Zealand.
The Adolescent Health Research Group (2008) has undertaken New Zealand’s first nationally representative youth health and wellbeing survey. Topics in the questionnaire covered culture and ethnicity, home and family, school, injuries and violence, health and emotional health, food and activities, sexuality, substance abuse, neighbourhood and spirituality. Data have been collected and reported in two waves – Youth2000 surveyed 9,699 students from 114 randomly selected New Zealand secondary schools, and Youth’07 surveyed 9,107 students from 96 secondary schools.
The second survey, the Youth Connectedness Project,[2] has quantitatively and qualitatively followed three cohorts of 2,174 young people, starting at ages 10, 12 and 14, for three years. The objectives of the project are to examine how connectedness supports young people in negotiating the challenges of adolescence, and to identify modifiable factors that foster and enhance connectedness. The main focus has been on young people’s connectedness to communities and wider society, families and whānau and schools. The Youth Connectedness Project was due to be completed in September 2009.
In addition to these two large surveys, two researchers have investigated New Zealand young people’s relationships. Sue Jackson (2002) has researched abuse in heterosexual adolescent dating relationships, and Stephanie Weaver has published two books with interviews of 50 teenage boys (2001) and 52 teenage girls (2002) talking about their lives.
Overall, there is little international or New Zealand research specifically focusing on the support needs of young people in their first relationships. We found little research on the relationship-support needs of young people in same-sex relationships and even less on those of young Māori.
The development of youth policy, programmes and research in New Zealand has been significantly influenced by the Youth Development Strategy Aotearoa (YDSA) (Ministry of Youth Affairs 2002), which provides a framework for positive youth development. The YDSA outlines four key social settings that provide a support network for young people:
The YDSA provides a useful framework for considering how to support young people best as they have their first relationships.
Kaye McLaren’s literature review (2002) on how to achieve good outcomes for young people in their families, peer groups, schools, careers and communities is also a key youth development publication.
2.3 Family and whānau
The family and whānau-youth relationship is associated with the development of social skills such as conflict resolution and intimacy. Supportive and warm relationships between parents or caregivers and young people particularly appear to influence the development of other social relationships, including relationships with friends and romantic partners (Hair, Jager & Garrett, 2002).
In a study of 253 adolescents, Crockett and Randall (2006) found that the quality of early family relationships had a greater influence on adult romantic relationships than peer relationships. Their results are consistent with longitudinal studies that have documented the connection between parent-child relationships and family practices in adolescence and the quality of young adults’ romantic relationships.
Research undertaken by Steinburg, Davila and Fincham (2006) suggests that before adolescents are even involved in serious romantic relationships, the quality of their parents’ relationship and their own relationship with their parents may influence their romantic lives and their expectations for their romantic lives. For example, young women who reported more negative perceptions of parental conflict were more likely to engage in risk-taking romantic experiences, and also had greater expectations of unhappiness and divorce in their own future marriages.
Kirk (2002) found that parental divorce did not affect young people’s relationship competence, but that the level of perceived family conflict influenced the self-esteem and romantic relationship satisfaction of young adults.
Research has also suggested that the experience of parental conflict in the family environment can affect young people’s relationships by increasing relationship dependency (Toomey & Nelson, 2001).
Jackson’s study of New Zealand high school pupils (2002) explored the link between family violence and abuse in adolescent dating relationships. She argues that young people who have experienced family violence are more vulnerable to abusive dating relationships.
The Youth2000 survey (Fleming et al, 2007) reported that students who witnessed violence between adults at home (compared to those who had not) had significantly increased rates of depression, anxiety and suicidal tendencies, as well as increased rates of problematic behaviour, substance abuse and relationship difficulties.
2.4 Friends
Young people use their friends a great deal for support, advice and information. Having close platonic friendships appears to promote relationship competence in young people by increasing their self-esteem, improving their romantic relationship satisfaction and lessening fear of intimacy (Kirk, 2002).
Peers also feature highly in the limited literature that is available regarding young people’s help-seeking behaviour. The studies found that the most frequent source of help was from friends, and that girls were more likely to seek support from someone than boys (Jackson, 2002). When boys seek help they tend to talk to female friends (Jackson, 2002, Weaver, 2001).
Weisz, Tolman, Callahan, Saunders and Black (2007) examined the responses of ‘informal helpers’ to young people who had disclosed dating violence or upsetting but non-violent experiences in their romantic relationships in a survey of 224 high school pupils. They found that adolescents were most likely to talk to peers, if they talked to anyone at all. Informal helpers recognised the need for a nurturing response and acted in this way more often than avoiding the help-seeker. However, the more severe a dating violence incident was, the more the potential helpers avoided the help-seekers.
McLaren summarises the influence peers have as follows (2002, p. 79):
- “Friends seem to have more impact on the development of romantic relationships than parents, particularly opposite sex friends.
- The wider the network of friends of the opposite sex a young person has, the more likely they will get involved in a romantic relationship earlier.
- Young women with large networks of other-sex friends tend to have earlier, longer-lasting and more emotionally intimate relationships.
- Little research has been carried out on the impact of peers on same-sex romantic relationships and more is needed.”
2.5 School
In New Zealand, school is important in the development of young people’s relationships for a number of reasons. School provides opportunities for socialisation with peers; the sexuality education curriculum has a strong focus on building relationship skills; and student support services provided through schools can be a key point of contact for young people seeking relationship support, information and advice.
Youth’07 (Adolescent Health Research Group, 2008) presents findings on young people’s relationships with their schools. Almost all (91 percent) reported that people at school cared about them. The survey also reports on the contact young people’s families have with their schools. Just under half of the students reported that someone from their family had attended a parent-teacher meeting in the past year. This was more common among younger students and students from less deprived neighbourhoods. About 40 percent of families had attended a school event in the last year.
Sexuality education is one of seven key areas of learning in the health education curriculum. Health and physical education is compulsory for Years 1 to 10. Beyond Year 10 schools may choose to offer sexuality education as part of a senior health education programme designed to meet the requirements of NCEA Levels 1, 2 and 3. The New Zealand Curriculum ( Ministry of Education 2007) states that in health education “students develop competencies for mental wellness, reproductive health and positive sexuality, and safety management, and they develop understandings of nutritional needs. Students build resilience through strengthening their personal identity and sense of self-worth, through managing change and loss, and through engaging in processes for responsible decision-making. They learn to demonstrate empathy, and they develop skills that enhance relationships” (p. 23).
At least once every two years it is expected that schools will consult with their communities when developing their health and sexuality education programme. Parents retain the right to withdraw their child from attending sexuality education lessons.
In 2007 the Education Review Office (ERO) completed an evaluation of the quality of sexuality education programmes in Years 7 to 13 in 100 primary and secondary schools (Education Review Office, 2007a). The findings of the evaluation led ERO to make 11 recommendations to schools and the Ministries of Education and Health. These recommendations focus predominantly on the sexuality rather than relationship aspects of the curriculum. In response to one of the ERO recommendations, the Ministry of Education commissioned a literature review and critical appraisal of best practice in sexuality education (Learning Matters Limited, 2008). The review made nine recommendations, including the following:
- Qualitative research should be conducted into students’ views about their learning and how programmes can best meet their needs. This research should include primary, intermediate and secondary-school-aged students (Recommendation 3).
- Parent-education workshops or meetings should be developed and provided on understanding the purpose and intent of teaching and learning in sexuality education, what sexuality education is and isn’t, and how to address issues that arise at home, including answering children’s questions (Recommendation 6).
- Easier access to health information and services should be provided for students in intermediate and secondary schools and in the community (Recommendation 7).
- Advisory support should be available to all teachers and schools to ensure effective delivery and implementation of sexuality education throughout the school (Recommendation 9).
In addition to their review of the sexuality education curriculum, ERO also completed a companion report, The Teaching of Sexuality Education in Years 7 to 13: Good practice (2007b), which profiles four schools delivering high-quality sexuality education programmes.
In the United Kingdom, interest groups have recently lobbied intensely to make the inclusion of sex and relationship education compulsory in all schools. A group set up to review the sex and relationship curriculum in the United Kingdom looked at international evidence to find ‘what worked’. Their conclusion was that it was difficult to be precise about the impact of sex and relationship education, partly because of the differences in the way it could be measured (Harrison, 2008). The English Family Planning Association and other lobby groups argued that better sex and relationship education, with the opportunity to learn about and discuss the emotional and positive side of sex and relationships, would help young people make more informed choices (Brook, 2008; FPA, 2007).
Taking the results of the review and the advice of the interest groups into consideration, in October 2008 the British Government announced that sex and relationship education would become mandatory for all children aged five to 16 years in England (Curtis, 2008). It will be included in the personal, social and health curriculum alongside topics such as alcohol, drugs, risk-taking, personal safety and career choices to give a complete set of life skills.
In 1996 the Federal Government in the United States implemented the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act, and provided money to states to promote healthy marriages. This included relationship and marriage education classes in high schools, which are recommended in some states and mandatory in others. The Bush administration also funded abstinence-only sex education, which attracted criticism because research questions the effectiveness of such programmes (Solomon-Fears, 2007; Wetzstein, 2005).
The value of strengthening family and community involvement in schools is recognised in the Ministry of Youth Development publication Making it Happen… Strengthening Youth Development in Schools (2005).
Support for pupils is typically provided in secondary schools in New Zealand by a school counsellor. New Zealand research indicates that young people have differing views about school counsellors, and that many would not seek help from them. Both Jackson (2002) and Weaver (2002) suggest that embarrassment, concerns about confidentiality, lack of trust in someone they don’t know, feeling at fault or ashamed, and an admission of failure are all reasons that can prevent young people from seeking help from more formal sources.
An Australian study, Mission Australia, surveyed 45,000 young people aged 11 to 24 years and found that only 11.5 percent would rank school counsellors in the top three people they turn to for advice and support (Australian Clearinghouse for Youth Studies, 2008).
Community
The YDSA (Ministry of Youth Affairs, 2002) notes that “communities take many forms, including those related to geography, ethnicity, religion and interests. Outside school, young people have most contact with their neighbourhoods” (p. 19). With regard to relationship support for young people, ‘community’ can include:
- the neighbourhood where they live and go to school, and community activities that might be available
- ‘very important adults’ who may influence them
- formal social services delivered by non-government and government providers.
McLaren (2002, p. 113) remarks that neighbourhoods “can have a positive impact on young people, but it is difficult to tease out the influence of families, friends and schools from that of the neighbourhood … overall, the impact of neighbourhood is fairly low compared with family and other influences”.
She also notes that “the availability of supervised activities locally … has an impact on peer relations” (p. 129). Young people who are involved in structured, supervised activities tend to socialise with friends who have good social skills, be involved in fewer antisocial activities and be more likely to stay at school.
Māori researchers and commentators have cited kaupapa whānau as influential. Kaupapa whānau is described as groups of people who get together for a common purpose or shared interest, as distinct from whakapapa whānau, who are people with a shared ancestry (Walker, 2006).
Alongside parents, members of their family and whānau and friends, young people often have influential relationships with other adults, including teachers, coaches, church leaders and neighbours. Research indicates these ‘very important people’ (VIP) support young people’s personal development and achievement of academic goals, and help solve interpersonal problems (Greenberger, Chen & Beam, 1998). McLaren (2002) notes that “while the influence of these VIP adults is not as strong as that of family or same-age friends, they clearly make a difference. The more positive influences a young person can have the better, and this is a rich source of even more positive support” (p138).
Research has shown that some young people are turning to online communication to help solve problems (Australian Clearing House for Youth Studies, 2008; Chilli Marketing, 2006; Piper & MacDonald, 2008). Group interviews of young people in Wellington conducted by Chilli Marketing included questions about their attitudes to seeking help in the context of experiencing violence. Most were unlikely to seek help, but if outside help was available all said they would prefer interacting with a website rather than face-to-face or phone contact (Chilli Marketing, 2006).
Only 20 percent of the young people surveyed for Mission Australia ranked the internet in their top three sources of advice or support. This percentage was fourth highest, but a long way behind friends, parents and relatives or family friends (Australian Clearinghouse for Youth Studies, 2008).
Piper and MacDonald (2008) researched how first-year tertiary students in Auckland use informal online communication (such as email or MSN) to help solve significant problems; often relationship and personal issues. In this study the people turned to were predominantly friends and family, the same as we have seen in other research. An interesting finding from this research was that it was young male New Zealanders who found sharing problems online with others most helpful.
Statistics from youth telephone helpline 0800WHATSUP (Barnardos, 2008) report that relationship issues are the number one reason young people call to talk. Youthline reports that growing numbers of young people are using their text service since it became free in 2008. The number of texts has trebled, and they expect that texts will soon outnumber calls to their service, as they can receive up to 400 texts on some days. These texts contain questions about sex, relationships and family and friends. There is no available information about the proportion of texts that deal specifically with relationship issues (Youthline, 2008).
In New Zealand, other sources of support for young people include counsellors, youth workers, youth health services, girls’ magazines (such as Girlfriend) and websites such as Urge (part of Youthline) and Attitude (part of Parents Inc). Website topics include dating ideas, the language of love, what makes a relationship work, where to go and what to do, and what not to do on your first date. In 2001 Relationship Services released a programme called Young People Relate. This programme was intended to run over six sessions and explore relationship issues and build skills. The programme is not currently being provided because of a lack of demand.