Supporting Families to be the best they can be

We asked our Families Panels about their hopes and dreams, what a family at its best looks like and the influences (positive and negative) on families.

“Families at their best are a good example of a fundamental building block of society”

The needs of children are a priority for families was particularly highlighted in the discussions around the hopes and dreams of families in all the groups. For most of the families these were focused on what they (as parents) want for their children – these include happiness, security, self confidence, safety and life skills.

All the families highlighted the importance of open communication and honest and trusting relationships between family members to support families to be their best. This was especially true between parents whether they are together or not. The importance of spending time together as a family was highlighted in all discussions particularly as a means of creating and maintaining strong relationships within a family. This time might range from family holidays and outings to taking children to after school activities or assisting with homework.

The importance of sharing and instilling the values, beliefs and culture of their family to their children was seen as very important by most families to help their children make their way well in the world and contributes to the well being of families. Values were also identified as an important means of linking family members.

Whilst all the families believe that having time together as a family is critical to supporting families to be their best, the economic realities of living in a modern society and New Zealand also have a strong (often negative) impact on the well being of families. The impact of economic influences on families was significant for all groups. The discussions were primarily focussed on: the increasing cost of living; balancing the trade off between family time and need for money; the importance of flexible working conditions; the cost of childcare; the impact of parents working on children; the importance of having flexible working arrangements; and the changes to the government benefits and how this will impact upon family well being.

“Financially it is a real struggle and the feeling of barely meeting the families’ basic needs proves to be taxing on the actual family life. The cost of living continues to get higher and compared to countries such as Australia there is the general feeling that wages are not keeping up with the cost of living.”

There was a lot of discussion about the trade-off between time with family versus working for money. For all the participants it was felt they were always trying to juggle between the two. Working longer hours has costs which were identified by many participants – these include: having less time to cook (eating less healthily); children not have guidance and role modelling; and a feeling that the more you earn the more you spend. For families with two parents there appear to be more options with some choosing for one parent to work, or both work part-time or both working flexible hours, for single parents the options are often fewer. The conversations suggest that when families are able to get the balance for their family right, it contributes to positive family well being.

The importance of community for family well being was discussed by all the Panels – community in the widest sense, including extended family whānau, church groups, sport groups, and social groups. Having community supports help families have a sense of identity, belonging and strength.

For those participants who have moved here from another country and culture the differences can be marked and add to the difficulties and pressure experienced by many families. These include feelings of isolation, discrimination and lack of understanding from some social services.

There are many similarities between the conversations held by the 12 different Families Panels. Having enough hours in the day, juggling economic and personal obligations and responsibility are key challenges for these families.